Fun

Prediction Results 2012

Each year on my blog I like to predict what will happen in the coming year.  I Invite my readers to make predictions in the comments.   I should have posted this a while ago but better late than never.  Let’s see how we all did. First …my predictions

UK basketball wins their 8th NCAA championship  - Yes Go Cats The UK football team will be no better than 7-5 and Joker Phillips will be fired - Yes Even though this is 2012, the world will still be here to make predictions about late next December - Yes I will go on a date this year – Sadly, No A passive 3-D TV comes out from a major brand (i.e. one with cheap glasses). Even so, nobody cares about a 3-D TV and they sell only because you can’t buy non-3-D TVs – Here’s how right I was, I actually had to google this to see if it happened Google+ remains irrelevant but doesn’t get shut down – Also yes.  I am on fire so far The Hobbit will be the number one movie next year.  Battleship (Yes, a movie about a board game), The Bourne Legacy, The Hunger Games, Spiderman (Again?) will all be in the top 10. – Wow, I was way off on this one. Only the Hobbit & Hunger Games were in the top 10 Republicans will make gains everywhere, but… - Yes Barack Obama is reelected president - Yes By year’s end I will derive more than 20% of my income from speaking.  – Sadly, wrong on this one too. I earned just under 3% of my income from speaking this year I will weigh less when writing 2013 predictions than I do today – This is a bit of good news I do weigh less.  Not much, but less

Overall I was 7-3 on predicting the future.  That’s .700; if I was a coach I would be highly paid.

How did my readers do at predicting the future?

Daniel Knoll I predict that i will still be single – Correct, although I say it’s just on a technicality Ryan UNC will make it to or past the Elite 8. - Yes The Panthers will go 8-8 or better. – Nope, close though 7-9 I will have a girlfriend or at least a real date.  – Got it because you hedged your bets. Date yes, girlfriend no The Dark Knight Rises will be the #1 movie of the year. The Hobbit will be #1 in December. (If it’s released in December, can it be #1 for the year?) Star Trek will be top 10. Skyfall (James Bond) will be top 20. – Dark Knight was #2, Hobbit definitely was December’s winner, Star Trek didn’t come out, Skyfall was #4.  So I’ll give you a No, Yes, Push, Yes Community and The Office will be cancelled – Not sure about Community’s official status, the Office is in its final season so I guess that is another push, and  Yes At least one glasses-less 3D tv will be available but will be more than $2,000 – as far as I know there are no Glasses-less 3D TV Apple will release Macbooks or iMacs with retina displays. - yes The world will not end on Dec. 21, 2012. – Yes

Ryan was 7-3-1 (.700) which means we are equal at prognostication

Roland UK wins the National Championship in Men’s Basketball. – Yes w00t! The UK women’s basketball team makes the Final Four. – Nope They were one game shy The Packers repeat as Super Bowl Champions. - Nope The Reds win the NL Central division. - Yep Mathis and I attend a baseball game in St. Louis. – No, although we had it on the schedule for a while I finish higher than Mathis in fantasy football. – No, mathis was 4th, Roland was 8th was it your worst season ever? Mathis speaks in at least 7 different churches – Yes, I spoke in 8 churches Mathis visits a new state – No new state this year All four guys that have posted in here go on a real date this year – Sorry to let you down, but I did not get a date, I even got turned down for 2 blind dates   That makes Roland 3-6 (.333) If this was baseball he’d probably be an all-star

WBAGNFAFFT V

It is late August, so you know what that means.  Time to come up with a name for your Fantasy Football team.  As always I have compiled a list of names they are some of the clean & funny, WBAGNFARB’s* from Dave Barry’s blog over the last year.  This list is not original in any way I just stole them all from Dave Barry. I have done this in the past as well.  Here you can find list 1, list 2, list 3, list 4.  I was not quite as diligent as usual this year, so the list is short, but" Elvis Monkey" is pretty much gold when it comes to naming your team.  I hope you find this useful.

  • Zombie Caterpillars
  • Psychedelic Gecko
  • Elvis Monkey
  • Promiscuous Yeast
  • Decapitating, Rat-Eating Clocks of the Black Forest
  • Blazing Entrails

*WBAGNFARB = Would Be A Good Name For A Rock Band

What to write when I have nothing to say

Recently I made a commitment to begin writing a blog post every week.  It is week four and I already have nothing to say this week.  But that shouldn't stop me, so I'm resorting to something I saw on facebook a long time ago.  It's a creative writing exercise.  Enjoy, and feel free to participate yourself in the comments. Answer the 5 questions below and write a short story. 1. Find a fridge. Close your eyes. Pull something out. - Velveeta 2. Turn on the tv. Flip to channel 7. Describe what you see. - A man sitting at his desk. He has many platinum records on the wall 3. Type your pet's name into google. Follow the 6th link. What are the last 4 words on that page? - the cave of Machpelah 4. Pick up your cellphone. Go to your recent calls. Who called you last? - My aunt 5. Take all the answers from above and write a short story.

My aunt emerged from the cave of Machpeleh clutching a platinum record and the rope she always used to guide herself when spelunking.

"How did you get that?" I asked.

"You won't believe it," she said.  "I wasn't treasure hunting.  I was just planning to take pictures.  I thought I'd just see stalactites and cave stuff.  But after crawling through a small hole I came to a fully furnished office.  And there was a man sitting there"

"Was he ok?" I asked.

"He was fine," she replied.  He looked at me and said "I've been down here quite a long time just writing songs and living off my stored supplies.  I'm sick of canned beans.  Do you have any food?"

"I have this chunk of velveeta.  I always carry it in case I get stuck or lost in a cave."

"I'll trade you one of these platinum records for it." he said almost desperately.

"Deal." I said.  I gave him the chunk of cheese and took a record.  Then I left before he realized what he'd done or before things got any weirder.

---

Write your own in the comments

Predictions 2012

Each year on my blog I like to predict what will happen in the coming year.  I’m breaking my predictions into categories, just so I don’t overload on one type.I Invite my readers to make predictions in the comments.  Next year I'll check how we did.

Sports: UK basketball wins their 8th NCAA championship The UK football team will be no better than 7-5 and Joker Phillips will be fired

World News: Even though this is 2012, the world will still be here to make predictions about late next December I will go on a date this year (It is a rare enough occurrence that if it happens it will be headline news)

Technology: A passive 3-D TV comes out from a major brand (i.e. one with cheap glasses). Even so, nobody cares about a 3-D TV and they sell only because you can’t buy non-3-D TVs Google+ remains irrelevant but doesn't get shut down

Entertainment: The Hobbit will be the number one movie next year.  Battleship (Yes, a movie about a board game), The Bourne Legacy, The Hunger Games, Spiderman (Again?) will all be in the top 10.

Politics: Republicans will make gains everywhere, but... Barack Obama is reelected president

My Personal life: By year’s end I will derive more than 20% of my income from speaking. (Invite me to speak in your church please.) I will weigh less when writing 2013 predictions than I do today

Your turn. Predict the future in the comments.

Prediction Results 2011

On the last week of each year on this blog I make predictions about the coming year.  I invite my readers to do the same.  This is a recap of those predictions and how accurate I turned out to be.

  • The number 1 movie will be Pirates of the Caribbean.  Green Hornet in the top 5. The usual suspects like Harry Potter, Transformers, and Twilight will all be in the top 10 Pirates was #4, Green Hornet was #24, the other three were in the top 5.  I’ll give myself half credit for this one
  • Facebook will go crazy with 11:11:11 11/11/11 stuff I’m the only person I saw make a post about it, so I guess that one is wrong
  • Some tablet computer running Android will be a genuine alternative to the iPad I’m tempted to give myself credit for the Kindle Fire, but it’s way too early to tell, so I’ll call this one another loss
  • The iPhone will move to an additional carrier but Andriod will have greater market share at year’s end Bingo
  • The ratings for American Idol will be off by at least 25%.  It won’t be canceled but will not return with the same judges in 2012. I could not have been more wrong about this one.  Idol ratings were only off about 11% and people who actually watch like the judges.
  •  There will be at least 10 announced Republican candidates for president.  No democrat will run against Obama Yep
  • Kentucky will not be in the Final 4 I am exceedingly happy that I was wrong about this one
  • Bret Favre will actually retire…probably…maybe…maybe not…yeah he will. Yes finally, but the media keeps trying to drag him back
  • The world will not end on May 21 no matter what the billboards say I’m typing, so I guess the world didn’t end
  • I will catch a 7 lb. bass

    I caught the biggest bass of my life, but it was only about 5 lbs

  • I will not still be working at the Wood Shed at the end of 2011 Wrong
  • I will weigh less at the end of 2011 than at the beginning Wrong

A couple of my regular readers made predictions about the coming year

Roland predicted:

  • Cats make the Elite 8 Yes, and good news
  •  Reds finish higher than Cardinals in NL Central in 2011 Cardinals finished second, to the Brewers. Still won the World Series
  •  Mathis still lives in KY on 12-31-2011 Not only do I live here, but I bought a house.  I think they call that putting down roots
  •  Mathis doesn’t complete his goal of visiting all 50 states in 2011 but does add to his total number of states he has visited No new states, so this one is Yes and No
  • I will finish higher than Mathis in fantasy football in 2011 Socialist Tortillas 10-6, Titletown Tailgaters 7-9. The season is not over, but I have this one sewn up.
  • One of the following 3 teams – the Cowboys, Globetrotters, or Kisha and Jen, will finish in the top 3 of the All-Star Amazing Race Season 18 Kisha & Jen won

Ryan predicted:

  • UNC will make it to the 2nd round of the NCAA Tournament (Basketball) The evil Tar Heels lost to my beloved University of Kentucky Wildcats in the round of 8
  • Panthers will win at least 4 games. Panthers are currently 6-9
  • I will get a girlfriend. Just like last year, I’m saying if so you are being awfully secretive about her
  • I agree that Pirates will be the #1 movie. Pirates was 4
  • A full size (30″+), glasses-less 3D tv will hit the market. It will cost more than $2k. Nope
  • Chuck will be renewed for a 5th season. The 5th and final season is currently airing

Looks like the final tally is that I was 4-6-1,  Roland was 4-3, Ryan was 3-3

The lesson you should learn is this.  If you are looking for solid predictions about the future, go somewhere else.  Cause really we are just guessing around here.

The Life and Times of a Tiny Snowman: A Documentary

The tiny snowman, Bobby Drake, was born, or created as most snowmen are, on Tuesday February 8, 2011.

He had golf tees for eyes and a mouth, a couple of twigs for his arms and a cap from a 2-liter bottle for a hat.

Bobby's task was an important one.  he stood vigil over the back porch and protected it from marauders of any sort.  He was wonderful at his job.  During his few days on duty there were no threats against the back porch.  He was not affected in the slightest by the coldest temperatures of the year, and it is said, though it may only be legend, that he never blinked.

But the life of a tiny snowman is ephemeral, and early in life, disaster struck...

During the late-afternoon on the day of his birth, Bobby lost an arm in a tragic solar incident.  Doomed to be forever maimed at the hands of the evil-if-you-are-a-snowman Sun, Bobby became deeply mired in melancholy.  It is said he considered launching himself from the ledge of the very porch he was set to guard.

Soon, however, the Sun relented its attack. It disappeared behind the horizon and remained hidden behind thick clouds for nearly 48 hours.  During second day of his life, Bobby was strengthened by an additional 4 inches of powdery snow.  It piled around his base and even atop his head it covered his hat.  The additional snow added to Bobby's fierceness and he guarded the porch with more vigor.

Wednesday night the temperature fell to 4.3°. Bobby Persevered

On Thursday, the temperatures remained in the 20s with the Sun hidden behind a thick bank of clouds.  He persevered.

On Thursday night the temperature fell to -4°. He persevered

 

On Friday, the evil sun once again made an appearance.  But Bobby's ally, low temperatures, protected him. The day's temperature never rose above 15 degrees and Bobby bravely guarded the porch.  Little did he know, this would be his last day on earth. Snowmen are not very good communicators and he asked no one what the next day would bring.

-Saturday-

Saturday was a tragic day for the back porch.  The Sun once again made an appearance.  This time the sun was strengthened and quickly defeated Bobby's ally low temperatures.  As the temp soared, bobby's weaknesses were unveiled.  The first weakness that the sun conquered was that Bobby was made of snow.   Snow really stands no chance against the vastly superior foe that is the Sun.  Bobby's second weakness is that he was tiny.  A larger snowman may have survived the day with only some wounds.  Probably a lost limb or two, but the day would have been survivable.

 

By the time the Bobby could be observed again nothing remained except for a pile of golf tees and some snow.  The porch was left unprotected.  An unprotected porch allowed wild animals to roam free.

Bobby Drake the tiny snowman lived a brief but valiant life.  He deserves to be remembered by generations of snowmen to come

(BTW, The name Bobby Drake is totally clever if you are the right kind of nerd)

Best of the Best Web Junk 2010

This is going to be only the most awesome links and videos from this year of best Web Junk Remember the Pheasant with 138 legs?

Drawed a Thrown

Good Quiz

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIdI8khMkw]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6L8b1zPE0-Y]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHps2SecuDk]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5gCeWEGiQI]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blOrY-nEGaE]

Best Web Junk (December 24)

A couple of these links I have been sitting on for a while in case I had a week with no good web junk.  Well, this is the last regularly scheduled Best Web Junk of the year. (Next week is best of) so I will share them today. Really neat aerial images

What if you printed the internet?

Yep

It's Christmas Eve.  I have seen this video posted in Facebook like 30 times this week plus Adam posted it on his blog last week.  But it is neat and it is appropriate for this week's Best Web Junk [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkHNNPM7pJA]

Best Web Junk (December 10)

This video would be impressive even if it wasn't the former home of Louisville being outfitted with UKs court. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGumZBYtMys] I know everybody on the internet has seen this already, but this is without question the best thing I have seen on the web this week.  Whoever did it is awesome and whoever did it has too much time on their hands.  Seriously, Wow. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHBlYJ-tKcs]

Best Web Junk (December 3)

This story makes perfect sense.  A city truck drives through your building so the city fines you for owning an unsafe building.  Of course. In general flash mobs are neat.  This is the first one I've ever seen with no dancing, and the first one where there is real singing.  It also has the highest percentage of gray hairs I've seen in one..  Enjoy [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE]

I don't know what's more impressive, that this kid built this instrument (instead of playing Rock Band in all of his free time) or that he's so good at playing it.  I am thoroughly impressed by this video. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D2o8F2MOuI]

What You People Come Here For (December Edition)

Most months I post the more interesting search queries that brought people to my blog.  I have not edited these in any way, simply cut and pasted.   Anything you see in parenthesis is my commentary.  I always wonder why people were searching these terms in the first place, then I definitely wonder why these searches pointed people to my site.

  • bad decision dinosaur
  • "do you care about my answers "

And in a new feature I am posting the most entertaining comment I noticed in my spam filter.  No idea why people spam me with bizarre things.  Without any further ado, I present the spam comment of the month:

makes me want to drink alchoholic beverages

Best Web Junk (November 26)

I usually don't put serious things in my Best Web Junk.  But this is the best thing Ive read this week

Since I'm already showing Graph jam some love in this best web junk.  Here's another brilliant one.

Almost all of these new Muppet videos are great.  This one is no exception.  [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-PkQRh3QXA]

Best Web Junk (November 5)

This week has been largely about politics, so I thought I'd show you a video for Best Web Junk that features a politician. The Ds had a bad week so I'll show you one that features a D.  Also I saw Al Franken do this 15 years ago and thought it was neat, so I taught myself to do this in a particularly boring history class.  For an entire 4-week class, every doodle in my notebook was a of the states and how they fit together.  I made an A in the class and was quite good at this trick by the end.  (I'm out of practice now though so the states become all warped and the sizes are off.)   [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0-FYyuvrRk]

NaNoWriMo Take 3

I just realized that it is November and we need to start another collaborative story on the blog.  This was incredibly fun for the last 2 years.  The only thing I regret about it is that it has only lasted a few days each time.  Here is a link to the 2009 story, and the 2008 version. Please write something.  The story going in unexpected ways is what makes it fun.

We will do this the same as we have for the last 2 years.  There is a tab at the top "collaborative story" that contains the story.  You add your portion to the comments and I will place it in the body of the story.

More rules

  1. No one can write two consecutive portions
  2. Portions may not be longer than 400 words
  3. Be aware of continuity.  Please read the story and relate your section to the rest.  We don’t want this to turn out like Snoopy’s novel.   Not too many meanwhiles etc.
  4. No quick endings.  Please don’t have aliens destroy the world, or some sort of catastrophy to end the story short
  5. Please don’t negate the contributions of others, (e.g. Then he woke up…it was all a dream)
  6. Don't worry about continuity.  This story will feature the same William, but he doesn't have to work for the Wisconsin board of tourism and cheese relations, he doesn't have to know anything about particle physics and he doesn't have to even know who Michael Strahan is.  This will be like the Simpsons where Homer still works at the nuclear power plant even though h has held 100 other jobs and been fired dozens of times.
  7. Careful of content/language.  Try to write your portions without swears or non PG-13 content.
  8. I reserve the right to edit your portion for spelling grammar and format.
  9. Have fun

Seriously...please participate!

 

What You People Come Here For (September & October Edition)

This is a semi regular feature in which I post the most interesting searches that brought people to my blog in the previous month.  i haven't done this for a while so now I have a pretty long list.  This list is simply cut & pasted not edited in any way.  Whatever you see in parentheses is my commentary.

  • beaker tattoos
  • flee tattoo large
  • tattoos of slot machines (Seriously, one post about tattoos  out of nearly 500 and people come to my blog daily looking for info?)
  • ice age platypus
  • baby running with glue meme (I know nothing about this one)
  • this morning the labrador looked like it (I'd really like to see the rest of this search)

And now to my favorite spam comment of the month.  You really should see some of the bizarre tings that appear there, it is amazing that somebody crafts that stuff in hopes that it will make it to a blog.  Without any further the best of the last 2 months.

keep it real, iight

Best Web Junk (October 29)

The kid who did this is going places. Not anywhere that math is required, but he is creative and this is awesome. Dangit, it turns out that awesome pic of a hunter & a mountain lion was fake

Best Halloween costume of all this year

A highlight of every year.  When a car gets smashed by a giant pumpkin If you just want to see the vid, here it is. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbNKVmWj1K4]

This guy claims that Galifianakis wasn't in on it but this interview is funnier than any of the Between 2 Ferns I've seen [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPJowXgH3YU]

Best Web Junk (October 22)

Are you looking for the perfect gift for someone's 50h birthday?  Here's a suggestion - A giant mosaic of their likeness made out of toast. I've seen a lot of political attack ads in my lifetime.  I pretty much hate them all.  But "He kicks children in the face" is so awesome that I can hardly believe it. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLfbtduLaho]