There is a phenomenon in my life that I would guess everyone has experienced at one time or another. I'm pretty sure it started when I was 16 and got my drivers license. The phenomenon is this; I often don't feel old enough to be as old as I am. What I mean is that on a lot of occasions, usually firsts, it seems like I am too young to be doing whatever task it has fallen to me to do. I know it is ridiculous, I'm in my 30s, but it is real. Although I remember the first time I ever had the conscious thought that, "Now I am an adult." I still occasionally get this feeling. I feel like this on tax day, any time I am about to take a church trip, and whenever I have particularly heavy responsibilities.
I think one contributing factor for this for me is that I am behind the curve in many ways. I am 33 years old and still single. I have very few friends who are single. Most of my friends have been married for a number of years and have children. So I feel like I am younger than them, even if I am actually older. This would have been worse a generation ago. For example, when my dad was 33 he had ten and 12 year old sons. (By the way, I can pretty much guarantee I feel like this if I ever get to have children. Who could feel prepared for that?)
Another contributing factor for this is that I teach teenagers and spend much more time with teens than others my age. So when I have to teach or lead adults, I feel a bit unqualified to do so.
There is no question that the older I get, the less I experience this. However, I do still experience it. I just thought I would share my freakish insecurity with the world. (Because what else is a blog for?)
Here's two questions for my commentors. Am I the only one who ever feels this way? If you are over it, when does it fade?