About once every 6-8 months my life falls apart. Nothing actually falls apart, but periodically it seems like circumstances in life conspire to make me feel like an unspeakable loser. For some of you that may happen more often and some of you may think I’m a freak because I deal with it that often. It always passes, and when the hard times are over, I wonder why I was so freaked out. I am very recently coming out of one of these times. One of the things I learned a very long time ago was not to worry. I don’t mean it in a clichéd way; “don’t worry, be happy.” I mean that I very rarely worry about anything. I learned as a child to obey Jesus in Matt 6. I understand that my worry is sinful and destructive. Mostly this has served me well in life. It makes me healthier. Though there are times it has not been such a great thing. I am sometimes so stress free that I fail to even be concerned about things that I really should be concerned about. For example, in college I often was not nearly as concerned with my grades as I should have been. That's why it took me 13 semesters to graduate.
Part of the reason my recent “life falling apart” incident was so terrible this time was because the circumstances not only combined to make me feel like a complete loser, but they also were attached to a sense of dread that hung like a shadow over me for a few days.
Yesterday it is no exaggeration to say that I was physically ill because of worry. I never worry. And now I remember why I never worry. It’s miserable. It absolutely does nothing to help the issue I’m worried about, and it makes me a wreck.
I’m feeling better now. I just thought I’d get that off my chest.
Does your life ever fall apart like mine?