The Story of My Christmas Tree 2010

This is the third year in a row that I have posted the story of my Christmas tree.  It is essentially the same post as last time.  Each year I add one ornament to my Christmas tree.  There is a whole story behind it that you can read here.  It all started with a single blue ball. (#4)  And now I have 13 ornaments on the tree.  I missed a couple of years in there.  This year I have the same 13 ornaments that I had last year.  Since I did not acquire a new one last Christmas it solved my dilemma.  I simply added both #2 and #12 with no need to choose between the 2.  The key is below.  If you gave me one, Thanks.

1. This is a ball from the LaGrange Park RAs. It was part of a Lottie Moon fundraiser in ’05. The RAs were placing these in honor or memory of someone for $4. Mine says “In honor of Jesus,” I thought it fitting since it was Christmas

2. This is a University of Kentucky candy cane.  It is one of a set of 4 (But I couldn’t stand to put all 4 of them on the tree that was just too much ornament adding) given to me by Wes & Kristi who said that their son, Carson  picked it out. (The same Kristi who gave me #13) Added in 2010

3. This is the tassel from my college graduation in ’01. I was really proud of this since it took me 13 semesters to actually graduate from college.

4. The original blue ball. (made of actual glass) added in 1996.

5. Is the famous tin-foil ball. I added a couple of layers to it when I moved up to the full sized tree.  Also I stuck a nail with a red ribbon in it.  We got the nail/ribbon at church a few years back to remind us about Christ’s sacrifice.

6. This is a snowman with a jingle bell built in.  Holding a sign that says, “Jesus loves you snow much.”  I got it at the Cumberland Beatitude house on a LPBC youth work day December 2008.

7. This is a slightly used fishing bobber, complete with weights and an actual hook, complete with barb to hang it. It says 80¢ on the side.  I added this one myself in ’04.

8. This is a glittery snowflake.  I’m not sure who, but somebody at Mexico Baptist Church gave me this. I lean towards thinking it is from Sandra Belt and it came in a card or something. Added in 2002.

9.  A University of Kentucky Wildcats ornament. I bought this at Wal-Mart, can’t remember when, but probably like ’03 since I was new to North Carolina and felt an extra need to represent my team in hostile territory

10. A little wooden snowman with my name on it. A Couple of my former students, Kristen and Melissa, gave this to me I’m guessing it was ’01.

11. This is the tassel from my seminary graduation cap. I got this in December ’06 when I graduated seminary. This is all that remains from my regalia rental fee of $80, so I’m definitely going to hang on to it.

12. This is a ball from the LPBC Lottie Moon Fundraiser 2008.  It was given in my honor by my Pastor and his wife.  It is made of actual glass and was added to the tree in 2009.

13. This is the ornament that started my one ornament per year method.  The one Kristi gave me in Christmas 1996 but it made the tree the next year, so we’ll call it ‘97

NaNoWriMo Take 3

I just realized that it is November and we need to start another collaborative story on the blog.  This was incredibly fun for the last 2 years.  The only thing I regret about it is that it has only lasted a few days each time.  Here is a link to the 2009 story, and the 2008 version. Please write something.  The story going in unexpected ways is what makes it fun.

We will do this the same as we have for the last 2 years.  There is a tab at the top "collaborative story" that contains the story.  You add your portion to the comments and I will place it in the body of the story.

More rules

1. No one can write two consecutive portions
2. Portions may not be longer than 400 words
3. Be aware of continuity.  Please read the story and relate your section to the rest.  We don’t want this to turn out like Snoopy’s novel.   Not too many meanwhiles etc.
4. No quick endings.  Please don’t have aliens destroy the world, or some sort of catastrophy to end the story short
5. Please don’t negate the contributions of others, (e.g. Then he woke up…it was all a dream)
6. Don't worry about continuity.  This story will feature the same William, but he doesn't have to work for the Wisconsin board of tourism and cheese relations, he doesn't have to know anything about particle physics and he doesn't have to even know who Michael Strahan is.  This will be like the Simpsons where Homer still works at the nuclear power plant even though h has held 100 other jobs and been fired dozens of times.
7. Careful of content/language.  Try to write your portions without swears or non PG-13 content.
8. I reserve the right to edit your portion for spelling grammar and format.
9. Have fun

Seriously...please participate!

Not Desperate Enough pt. 2: My half-baked plan

In yesterday’s post I arrived at the conclusion that the ultimate reason I am still single is that I am not desperate enough.  Fortunately for me, lots of people are desperate on my behalf. It is actually quite normal for someone to give me the following advice in a completely serious manner, “What you need is to get married.”  I understand the sentiment but the advice in and of itself is not terribly helpful.  It is also quite normal for people to try and fix me up. I have always resisted being fixed up, but no more.  I have decided that the worst that could really happen is that I have a bad night.  So I have made a decision.  If you are reading this and thinking, “I know the perfect girl for you.”  Now is your chance.

I am saying yes to all fix-ups.  There are at least 3 in my facebook inbox right now that I have made no response to.  If you sent me one, you can consider my answer a yes.

Before you fix me up there have to be some ground rules.   Most people are not very picky when fixing up somebody else.  I’ll make a list of what I am looking for.

Here are the non-negotiables:

• She must be, and have always been, a female
• She must be at least in her late 20s.  That is to say, a grownup
• She can’t smoke very much crack
• She must be a Christian. By that I mean regular in church attendance and concerned about God’s will for her life
• She must be single and never married
• She must be willing to go on a date with me

Here are the things that would be nice:

• I am a Southern Baptist minister, so it would be good if she were a Baptist
• If she knows the proper usage of your and you’re and that ur is not a word, that would be a plus.
• It would be good if she was available on Tuesday nights because that is my only free night of the week.
• I know lots of my regular readers are in North Carolina, but it would be good if she were reasonably close to Hopkinsville.  I can drive to Murray, or Paducah , or Nashville, or Bowling Green, or even Lexington.  However, you would really have to be convincing to get me to go to Atlanta or Raleigh, or Colorado Springs for a blind date.

Here are the rules for you… the fixer upper:

• You may not get upset with me if I’m not interested. I promise not to get upset with you if she’s not interested in me
• You have every right to upset if I am a complete jerk and never call or write her back. To my shame I have done this before
• Don’t fix me up with a total stranger
• Don’t fix me up with someone I already know.  If there was a girl I was interested in I would have asked her out already (I learned my lesson about that one a long time ago)

Yesterday I called this my half-baked plan for the future.  Now you see why, because that’s it, that’s the plan.  You can do the work for me.  Just think of all the bragging you can do if things work out.

Not desperate enough? pt.1

Many people look at my life and they see a problem I am single.

I sometimes feel like I wear a badge of singleness, or that there is a giant red S stamped across my resume and, for that matter, my life.  Please understand me, I would like to get married.  One of the things I desire in life is to be a husband and a father. In my quest to become a full-time youth minister, my singleness has been, without question, my single greatest detriment.  I have to tell literally every committee I speak to that I would like to get married, but that I haven’t met the right girl yet.

So how is it that I became 35 and single?

The way I see it, there are three factors.  The first factor in my singleness is my living circumstances.  I have been living alone (unless the dog counts) for the past 10 years.  And somewhere over the course of these last 10 years I have become comfortable with my life.  It doesn’t bother me to be alone and I am almost never lonely.  In fact, I am rather content.  Contentment is normally not a problem, it is a blessing.  It has, however, been a factor leading to my singleness.

The second factor in my singleness is the situation of my life.  I have been a member of only small churches for the past 15 years or so.  So let’s just say that the pool of eligible women has not been huge.  While at SEBTS there were a few girls I was interested in.  Girls are really good at sending signals though, and I can usually tell when they are not interested back.  I did get rejected a couple of times, which is actually good.

The third factor is how I spend my free time.  When I’m not at work or church (those are often the same thing) I watch TV (alone, in my house - not a lot of girls there) or I fish.  A watershed lake on the back side of Ft. Bragg is not a very good location to meet people at all.  It is certainly not a real hotbed of eligible females.

I think the problem at the core is that I am not desperate enough.  I would like to meet the right girl and get my life to the place where everybody else thinks I should be, but I don't feel incomplete or broken in any way because I haven't.

Tomorrow...My half-baked plan for the future

My Experience with the Miller's Analogies Test

I recently took the Miller's Analogies Test. After scheduling it and before taking it, there was one question I searched many times; "Can you study for the MAT?"  I had no success in finding an answer, so I intend to answer it here on my blog.

Before you read any further here is what you should know.  I made a 461.  I haven't received my official notification.  That is the preliminary score given to me at the end of the test.  I have no idea whether that is a good or bad score.  I do not know where it ranks on the percentile nor do I know what is required by most grad schools.  I do know that the one of the departments at the school where I took the exam requires a 381, so I was well above that.  But just be warned that you may be taking advice from a moron in analogies. <update> I have received my official score.  It turns out that my 461 is the 99th percentile.  So you are not taking advice from an analogical moron. </ update>

Now…onto the question

Can you study for the Miller’s Analogies Test?

In short, the answer is no.

You cannot study for the exam.  It is pretty much going to test your ability to think analogically.

Even though you cannot study for the test, you can prepare for it, have a strategy, and be familiar with the types of analogies and the categories that appear on the test.  There are a multitude of practice exams on the web, some are good, some are not.  I’ll offer what tips I can.

1. Even though there are spelling errors, and annoying ads, this is the best set of practice questions I found.  The timed format is very similar to the actual exam.
2. It is helpful if you are somewhat of a polymath.  There are math, history, science, and literature analogies on the exam.  My version had analogies with simple algebraic formulas, relationships between dictators, chemical symbols, countries and capitals.
3. There is no substitute for a good vocabulary.  All through seminary I kept a running list of all the words I had to look up. I haven’t mixed them into my vocabulary regularly, but more than a few appeared on the exam.  The difference in reading a word in a book versus reading it in an analogy is context.  You have no contextual cues to tell you what inchoate means; you pretty much need to know it in order to say how it relates to nascent.
4. You are allowed a piece of scratch paper, use it.  Use it to remember the numbers of the analogies that stumped you, use it to work on math problems.  Use it to restructure the analogies in hopes that they make sense to you.
5. Do not be freaked out by the time.  You have 60 minutes to complete 120 analogies.  The ones you know will take you way under 30 seconds, you can use the spare time to work-out the ones you don’t.
6. Don’t be freaked out.  The test is hard.  It’s supposed to be hard. Unless you are a genius you are not going to know them all, so relax.
7. Use all your time.  Unless you are confident of every answer, (in which case you don’t need to read this) you should use the remaining time to get the ones you are still unsure of
8. Be alert and limit distractions.  I’m sure everyone reading this already knows this, but I’m going to say it anyway.    The test is nothing to be afraid of, but you should get some exercise the day before so you can sleep well through the night.  Eat breakfast, and go to the bathroom before you take it.  No need for distractions.

Here was my strategy.  I went through the test answering the ones I knew and making a guess at the ones I didn’t.  Usually even if the answer is not clear, some of the options seem obviously wrong.  I made an educated guess in case I didn’t have time to get back to it.  I also wrote down the number of the analogies I didn’t know so I could come back.  (At one point I wrote down 7 analogies in a row.  See #6 above.)  When I finished my initial run-through, I had 23 minutes remaining. I used those 23 minutes to review the many questions I was unsure of.  Some of them clicked for me, some of them I felt confident I was making my best guess, and a few of them I was utterly stumped.  There was one about tennis that I never had a clue about.

That’s it.  That is my best attempt at answering the question “can you study for the MAT?” If you find this helpful, feel free to tell me in the comments how you did.

Only a Test

I am posting this from the Wordpress for Android app. That's pretty awesome.

My experience at the DCW (pt. 2)

Yesterday I reviewed the retreat center where the Dynamic Communicator’s workshop was held.  Today I am sharing my experience there and how I benefitted from it.  The DCW is 4 days of training on how to become an effective communicator.  Going into the workshop I would have told you that I am a gifted teacher, but that I am not a great public speaker.  This manifests in the form of being not particularly good in the pulpit.  In fact, in 13 years of being on church staff I have only filled the pulpit 3 times.  I was hoping to become more polished and effective in this type of format. DCW is a workshop done by Ken Davis productions.  In it they teach a method of presentation signified by the acronym SCORRE. The purpose of the SCORRE method is to teach the speaker to clearly communicate his or her point to the audience.  We have all suffered through a speech in which the speaker did not know what the point was.  And we have all walked away from a speech wondering what the speaker was trying to say.  Here is a guarantee, if you follow the SCORRE method, you will definitely know what your point is.  Further, if you present it properly, your audience will know what your point is.

The classroom sessions are all about the method of speaking.  But the classrooms are only a part of the workshop experience.  The other component is practice and evaluation.  We were placed into small groups (7-9 people) with each group having a leader.  The purpose of the small groups was to practice our newly-learned skills.  We arrived with a prepared speech and wrote and delivered 2 others over the course of the workshop.

In the small groups you are videotaped so you can see yourself.  Also you are critiqued by the members of your group and of your instructor.  For me, this was the most useful part of the workshop.  In this part I was able to work on things like gestures and eye-contact.  These are the parts of public speaking where I particularly needed improvement.  Watching yourself on videotape with your instructor by your side is painful, but it is also very educational.  When he is able to say, “See what you did there?” or, “Wasn’t that boring?”  it goes a lot further than saying, “Be less boring.”

I cannot review anyone else, but my small-group leader was wonderful.  He was honest in his criticism and gentle.  I never felt beat down by criticism, only encouraged.

DCW is a wonderful experience.  If public speaking is ever a part of your life, you would benefit from attending.  I honestly believe that I am a better public speaker now than I was a week ago.  At the very least I  know that I am certainly more confident.

My experience at the DCW

I promised last week that I would post about my experience at the Dynamic Communicator’s Workshop, so I owe my readers this post.  I have, however, decided to break  it up into two parts.  Today I will post about the facilities where the workshop was held and tomorrow about my actual experience at the workshop.

The DCW I attended was at the WinShape Retreat Center which is on the campus of Berry College.  WinShape is operated by the non-profit arm of Chick-Fil-A and it is easily the most impressive lodging I have ever experienced.  The weather was great, it was cool and did sprinkle a bit but overall it was great.  So I will admit that I may have been slightly less awed by the beauty if it had been August rather than April, but it was amazing.

So what are the key things to consider when evaluating a retreat center?  I believe there are three things to consider; the food, the lodgings, and the meeting areas.  Let’s take those one at a time.

First, the food was wonderful.  It was not standard cafeteria fare, but gourmet awesomeness.  There was always variety.  In case you do not like tilapia, there was beef.  And it was all good.

Second, the lodgings were great.  The room was huge, the bed was comfortable, the shower was hot and the people were friendly.  Someone was always there to open the door for you, and they smiled about it.

Third, the meeting areas were nearly perfect.  I suppose I could have wished for more comfortable seating in the auditorium, but the pews were not uncomfortable.

I realize that for a review to be taken seriously, there must be some sort of criticism, so here is my attempt.  On the first night of the workshop, during social time, they fed us cookies which included the best peanut butter cookie I have ever eaten.  The rest of my small group was in agreement.  However the rest of the time, those cookies were nowhere to be found.  We had to settle for scones.  Which, although they were the best scones I’ve ever eaten, do not even compare to the awesomeness of the peanut butter cookies.

Making Progress

In this world there are not many things I am actually good at.  In fact the list of things I am terrible at is very long.  I am terrible at anything that takes physical coordination.  I don’t play church league softball because I bring nothing to the team (anyone can ground out to the second baseman 3 times) I am pretty much horrible at every athletic endeavor.   Although I enjoy them, I am not very good at video games.  I have a terrible singing voice, and I don’t play any instruments.  I am not particularly mechanically inclined.  (Currently I can’t even get my lawnmower to start.) I think that is probably enough examples to make my point without being depressing. Even though the list of things I am bad at is extensive, there are a few things I am quite good at.  Fortunately, I know what those few things are.  I believe one of them is that I am a gifted teacher.

I believe that because of that gifting, God has called me to a profession that allows me to use it.  I would be a sin to allow the tools I have go to waste.

I love God’s word and I love apologetics.  You may recall I once posted about this love and the way that my life has progressed to where I get to teach regularly on apologetics.  Because of these 2 factors, I have for some time had a desire to become a NAMB Certified Apologetics Instructor. (CAI)  I think this is a noble attempt by the NAMB to have a certified group of apologists to recommend as it becomes more and more necessary in a culture which is moving further from being “Christian.”  This certification may turn out to be merely a stamp of approval from an organization I respect, but I believe that God has put this desire in my heart.

Part of the CAI certification process is a required course on public speaking.  It is called Dynamic Communicators workshop and it is put on by the Ken Davis Association. Next week I will post about my experience at this workshop and how I believe it has benefited me.  But in this post I want to ask my readers a favor.

Help me complete my certification.  I have completed steps 1 and 2.  All that is left is step 3.  In order to become a CAI, I must speak 30 times.  Currently I don’t have a church home so I have freedom to travel and speak in a variety of places.  (There is a church I attend regularly, but not where I am a member) Let me speak in your church.  I can do 1 lesson on apologetics or 30 if you want.  I can speak to youth or to adults.  You don’t have to pay me, I’m trying to complete my certification. (although it would be nice to get mileage if you are very far away)

If you recommend me to your pastor or to your church you will be helping me to realize a dream and to do what I believe is God’s will for my life.

I’ll conclude with just one word.

Please.

What I will miss about NC

I moved to North Carolina just over 7 years ago.  And later this week I will be moving away.  So I thought I would write a couple of posts about North Carolina.  Yesterday I wrote about the things I will be glad to not deal with once I leave North Carolina. Today I am writing about the things I will miss about NC.

• My house – I have lived in the same house for 5 years.  I believe that is the longest time with only one address in my entire lifetime.  Not only have I lived in the same house for 5 years. But it is a really nice house with really good grass in the front yard.  I have issues with that sycamore tree in the front yard, and I'm not crazy about the utility room being on the carport, but otherwise I’ll miss this place.
• Distance from my family – I know what you are thinking.  This was on yesterday’s list, you are right it was.  It is a bit of a bummer living so far from family.  But there are some positives about it as well. When you live 1/3rd of the country away from your family you only see them about 3 times a year.  It turns out, that seeing less of my family makes me appreciate them a lot more.
• CBC – I really enjoy my classes at Carolina Bible College.  Teaching adults is very different than teaching teenagers, which is what I have done for the last 13 years.  But it is a nice break and I get to delve deeper into topics I can often only scrape the surface of when teaching teens.  Also, my students are generally appreciative of my teaching, even if not my grading.
• Cookout & MiCasita – Two very different restaurants go here on the list.  Mi Casita is a Fayetteville Mexican restaurant where I eat pretty much weekly.  I will miss it very much.  Cookout is a fast food restaurant that is unique to North Carolina.  The food is wonderful.  Seriously, where else can you get a double cheeseburger with fries and chicken nuggets plus a drink for under 5 bucks.  I’ll tell you - nowhere.  Also, it has without question, the best milkshake in any fast-food place anywhere.  My favorite fast food restaurant will now be hundreds of miles away. Sad.
• The watershed lake I fish regularly – I love fishing.  And for the last 4 years I have had the opportunity to fish a healthy lake with virtually no fishing pressure.  I have fished there dozens of times and could count on one hand the occasions when there was more than one boat in the water.  Last year alone I had 3 bass that would have been my best fish ever if I could get them into the boat.  I have caught bass, pickerel, bluegill, shellcrackers, and crappie in healthy amounts from that lake.  I hardly ever have a bad day in that lake and I will definitely be sad when I can’t drive 5 minutes and be there.
• My friends and church family – Let’s be honest, the really sad part of moving is not going a long way from a great restaurant, or a house, or a lake, or any of those things.  The hard part is leaving behind all the people.  I will not attempt to name all the folks here who I will miss.  I will miss friends from seminary, pastors in my association, students and colleagues at CBC and loads for people from my church family.   There are many people in NC that my life is better for knowing, and it will be a shame to leave them.  Fortunately, in this day of social media, it is possible to keep in touch much better than ever before.  It is amazing what you can learn about people’s lives through a twitter feed or through facebook.  So I’m glad for those technologies.  You people keep updating and I’ll keep reading.

What I will not miss about NC

I moved to North Carolina just over 7 years ago.  And later this week I will be moving away.  So I thought I would write a couple of posts about North Carolina.  Tomorrow I will write about the things I will miss when I leave, but today’s topic is what I will not miss about living in NC.

• The distance from my family –  It is about 700 miles from here to my hometown, I only see my family about 3 times a year
• The U.S. Army trying to shake my house apart – I have lived about a mile from Ft. Bragg for the last 5 years.  In that time I have grown accustomed to my house shaking, windows rattling, and the sort of jumpiness that comes with that.  However, that doesn’t mean I like it.  And my dog hates it.  He just roams around the house barking at some unknown enemy.  This is one thing I will not miss in the slightest.
• Bar-b-q with no smoke in it – What people call bar-b-q around here is good enough for what it is.  It just isn’t bar-b-q and I won’t miss it in the slightest.
• The traffic – All I will say here is good riddance to the traffic in Fayetteville.  I will not miss Reilly Rd.  I will not have to make Yadkin Rd., Skibo Rd., or The longest light in the world on Morganton a normal part of my day.  And for that I am glad.
• The world turning yellow every spring – I guess this is not strictly a North Carolina problem, but it is a problem all over the Deep South where pine trees are the majority.  In late March and early April everything turns yellow.  I don’t mean has a sort of yellow sheen to it, but the wind blowing through the trees looks like yellow smoke.  Cars turn yellow, the ground turns yellow.  The pollen forms a light dust on the ground that is actually slippery.  The windward side of the lake becomes coated in yellow pollen and after every cast so does your bait.  If you have never seen it, I don’t believe I can do it justice with words.
• Fire Ants – Again, I know this is not just a problem in the Sandhills of NC, but fire ants were unknown to me before I moved here.  For more on my feelings about fire ants, read this.
• People referring to chicken & dumplings as “pastries” – Nothing about that makes any sense to me on any level. Good riddance to that quirk of dialect.
• The difficulty in watching UK games – I am an SEC fan, stuck for the last 7 years in the heart of ACC country.  Kentucky is regularly preempted in favor of an ACC game.  I understand why, but I hate it.  That is one more thing I will not miss.

Thoughts about a loss from a UK fan

There is only one problem with caring about things – the pain that comes when things don’t go how you wish they would. I have to say that I am somewhat ashamed about how I react when Kentucky loses in the NCAA tournament.  It pretty much ruins my weekend.

Oddly though, I prefer this feeling, being somewhat crushed by a loss, to the feeling I have had the last few years as a UK fan.  When we lost in the first round of the NCAAs or the second round of the NIT it was expected.  And rather than ruining my day, it was just one more loss.  That is especially difficult when you consider the state of the program during my time at UK.  Those years saw 2 national championships and 3 consecutive trips to the final. Last year’s NIT was painful.

They program is back now.  This year, UK should have won the tournament, but one bad game is all it takes.

So I am crushed by a loss, but I am already looking forward to next season.  I obviously have no idea what to expect from the football team but I feel that the basketball team is back where it belongs.  And if it means more pain caused by a loss, I’ll take it.  It’s a lot better than being numb.

A lesson about life from a recent Sunday school class

On March 14, the Explore the Bible Sunday School lesson was from Exodus chapters 5-11. The point of this post can be found in Chapter 5. In that passage Moses is obedient to God really for the first time. As you will recall, Moses was quite reluctant to obey God at all. In fact in Exodus 4 he says "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." But he is eventually obedient, and we first read of that in Exodus 5.

In Chapter 5, Moses goes before the Pharaoh as God commanded. And we all know how this goes, right? Moses obeys God, everything becomes wonderful and Moses and his people prosper.

If you read the passage you see that that is not the case at all. Once Moses is obedient, everything falls apart for him and for his people. Immediately their workload is increased greatly and they are in great pain. Pain, I might add, that appears to be a direct result of Moses’ obedience to God. Maybe I should state that differently, Moses’ obedience to God brought about pain.

There is no shortage of people telling us in the U.S. that if we are faithful then God will bless us, and that those blessings will come in the form of material desires. However, this passage shows something very different.

That is not even the lesson I want to take away from this passage. Recently in my life there has been an abundance of difficulties. I am not suggesting that my difficulties are a result of my obedience to God. I am, however, suggesting that those difficulties do not mean that I am outside His will and they do not make me question his faithfulnes. When their lives became more painful, the Hebrews complained bitterly to Moses and questioned his motives. They falsely tied their ease in life to the blessing of God. Here is why this passage speaks to me; God is in control even thought the people can only see pain. In fact it appears that the pain was a part of His plan.

Sometimes it’s easy to get discouraged. I have had a lot of melancholy days lately. But the lesson I see in Exodus 5 is that even though things look bleak, God is ultimately in control.

As I write this, I cannot see his plan. But I know that He is in control.

Lessons from a Funeral

Two weeks ago for the first time in my life I had to come to terms with grief.  Believe it or not, until then, at the age of 34 I still had all four of my grandparents and until about a month ago all of them were of sound mind and body. (for their ages)  On the 8^th my grandfather died and I had to learn to deal with genuine grief. As I’m sure you can imagine, when you are in the ministry, or you work at a church, as I have for the last 12 years, you deal with many people in the midst of grief.    I have been to more funerals than I can count.  Always for me I have been there as a show of support.  I can’t say how many times I have been through a visitation line wondering what I would say when I get to the strangers who have lost a loved one.  Usually I wind up with some form of “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I really liked and appreciated your loved one.”  Many times I have walked away from that brief meeting thinking that I have wasted my time.  Or worse, I wasted their time.  I felt as if I offered no comfort to the family whatsoever.

However, the death of my grandfather was my first time on that side of a funeral and I learned a lot.  Here are the most significant things I learned.

-          Kind words mean a lot.  I know that saying “I’m sorry” seems like a small thing.  But what I learned is that it is not a small thing.  Those words are significant.

-          The food is a ministry.  Several people brought food by the house, My Gramma’s church fed us a meal, and that food is a genuine ministry.  Much more so than I ever realized.  There is a strange comfort in eating.  I guess that’s why there is a whole category of food called comfort food.  Also there is a lot to be done in planning and carrying out a funeral, and lots of people coming around.  Having plenty of good food on hand is one less thing to worry about.  (The only observation I would make here is that there needs to be food brought to the funeral home during visitation.  Five hours is a long time and some food for the family would be appreciated.  I literally never thought about that until this time.)

- Grief comes in waves.  I would be fine for a while, then overcome with sadness.  I'm told those waves come back for a long time.

-          The kindness of people is overwhelming.  I was surprised at how touching it was when people pulled over for the funeral procession.  The same for when people left a facebook message, or a text message, or sent a flower, or a card, or if they donated Gideon Bibles.  Those things are nice acts that people don’t have to do.  When they go out of their way to do them, overwhelming is the only word I can use.

To all of you who were kind to me during this period.  Thank you.  I mean it when I say the kindness is overwhelming.

(And a final note to the person who jumped into the procession until you made it to the YMCA, I’m so glad we could expedite your trip with a police escort.  I hope you got a good workout that day.)

Delta Airlines - I am done with you

I am not a heavy flier.  Over the past 5 years I have flown an average of 3 times a year.  So I’m not winning any frequent flier awards.  But I do fly often enough that my business and loyalty have value. In my life I have chosen Delta Airlines three times.  The first time was my second flight ever, 1995, when I went to Washington and Oregon for my missionary summer.  I didn’t buy that ticket.  And my experience was fine.

The last two flights I have booked were on Delta also, and they were a different experience.

In June I flew to the Southern Baptist Convention.   How was that experience you ask?  Well, for starters they charge $25 to check one bag.  That means $25 more for the return flight.  So I was feeling ripped off already merely because I wanted to have some clothes to wear on that six-day trip.  It got even better when I arrived at my final destination only to realize that my $25 bag never made the trip from RDU.  I was told, “We have no record of it on any of our flights.” Then I was told that it would be delivered to the door before 10 p.m. or between 8 and 3 the next day.  You can imagine my surprise when there was a knock at my door at 3 a.m.  I was not refunded the $25 or given a voucher for a free checked bag on a future flight.  Nobody said thanks for flying Delta or for not throwing a fit.  Nobody smiled at me or was appreciative in any way.  I was obviously unhappy, but didn’t get overly excited about it because I understand things happen sometimes.

Then two weeks ago I got a piece of bad news.  My grandfather was dying and I wanted to see him one last time.  So I booked a rather last minute flight.  Again I chose Delta, even though I was unsatisfied the previous time, and even though after the baggage fee it was only going to save me 20 bucks.  I wound up regretting that decision.

While I was home my grandfather died.  He died on Monday and my flight was scheduled for a Tuesday. So I called Delta to reschedule my return flight.  They waived a $150 rescheduling fee when I gave them the funeral home info.  “Good,” I thought, “this will be a simple process.”  I could not have been more wrong.

After about 20 minutes on the phone with the first rep I was transferred to a booking rep.  The first thing I learned is that I would be charged a $50 fee because I booked using an agent. (Travelocity, who I had a perfectly good experience with.) Then I was told that the remaining portion of my fare was about 39% and that I would have to pay the difference.  I thought the $50 fee was ridiculous because they still had the entire fare from that booking.  I didn’t cancel, I wasn’t getting a refund.  I merely wanted to take a later flight. But I was going to tolerate that ridiculous fee.  Then the bombshell; the best they could do for me was to rebook for $252.

Now, I was already having a bad day, but there is never going to be a time when this would not anger me. In addition to the high-priced fare I already paid, it was going to cost nearly the same amount to return home.

I asked the agent again, thinking I had somehow misunderstood.  “Are you telling me that in order to take a later flight it is going to cost me $252?  Almost any flight on any airline would be cheaper than that.” His answer, “That’s the best we can do.” (I should add, it was a 6:30 a.m. flight on a Saturday…ugh)

Not good enough.

To be clear, Delta had some options.

They could have looked at the fare I paid, which was very high for such a short flight, and said, “He’s already paid a lot, let’s give him a deal.” (It was over 70% more than that flight normally is. I usually fly Southwest for about $160, this flight was $277.)

They could have said sorry about your loss, we’ll be happy to reschedule.

They could have given me a voucher for the remaining portion of my fare, and allowed me to find a cheaper Delta flight through an agent. (I definitely could have)

Instead they chose to take a different option.  They decided to keep remaining portion of my fare, force me to purchase a different ticket on a different airline, (because nobody is stupid enough to actually take what they offered me) and never sell me another ticket.

So I will be certain to give them exactly the option they chose for me. They got my money for the return flight, and probably resold the seat. I will never give another cent to Delta Airlines.

I feel like I should restate that - Delta Kept my money but lost my business

BTW, I chose Southwest, an airline that has never let me down.  I am blogging about this because It's obvious they are not concerned about my business or my opinion, so this should not bother them in the slightest.

DRM Ruins Everything: Why I will not be buying an e-book reader

I really want an e-book reader.  I read at a pretty good clip, not nearly as much as some people, but enough that a Kindle, or a Sony e-reader, or yes, even the stupidly named iPad would be a good investment for me.  Twice in the last year I have received, Legally and for free, books in an electronic format.  (In both cases they were PDFs)  In both cases, I would have liked to read the books but have not.  The reason I didn’t read them is that it would take a ream of paper to get them off my screen and I don’t want to sit at a computer to read a book.  I should be able to have a more comfortable posture while reading. So far, the body of this post belies the title.  I am saying that I want an e-book reader.  So what are the reasons why I will not be buying one?

Pay close attention to this, publishers, because I am no the only one who feels this way.  (In fact you could easily have learned this lesson from the music publishers, but you won’t)  Digital Rights Management ruins everything!

I do not want to lease my books.  If I buy a kindle edition of a book, it only works on my kindle.  So, if it is stolen, or broken, or lost and I want to replace it with a different brand, or if I choose to get a different device because something newer is better, I would have to buy that book again to read it on the new device.

I want the ability to give a book away. It is not unusual for me to read a book, and then if I enjoy it, pass it along to a friend or family member.  There is one book that I have given away 4 copies of in the past 2 years.  With DRM, I cannot give that book away.

I want the ability to sell books.  I won’t even get into the necessity of used textbooks for college students here.  I am only going to address the marketplace of used books.  I am a regular at my local used bookstore. I don’t sell everything I read, but many books are simply not worth adding to my library.  With a digital book full of DRM I have no option but to keep that book for all time.  (Not really, I can actually only keep it as long as I have the compatible device)  You received your price for that book already, It should then become my property to do with as I please; even if that includes selling it.  And I believe used bookstores should embrace this as well and make marketplaces for selling used e-books.

I fully realize that publishers do not want me to have that power.  I get it, if they lock the book down then that means more sales for them.  In fact, I may be forced to buy a book many times if I refer to it often in class or periodically reread it.  I can only assume that book publishers wish that libraries didn’t exist.

I also understand that publishers are worried about piracy.  DRM does not stop piracy.  I doubt if it even slows it down.  What it does accomplish is making sure that your customers are going to be angry at you, because sooner or later they will want to change devices.  I know that downloading a book without paying for it is stealing, and I am not a thief.  I will be happy to pay for the books I read.  I’ll gladly delete my digital copy of a book that I am selling, but I refuse to pay good money for a book that is locked down.

So readers, do you agree or disagree? Or do you think that the idea of an e-book is stupid

Completely uninspired to blog this week

Maybe because it's so cold the energy from the creative part of my brain is being diverted to the part that keeps me comfortable. Or maybe I feel like I should be hibernating

Here's this week's high so far.

I Probably should have called this post "Jeremy Complains about the Weather"

2010 Predictions

These are my predictions for 2010.  Feel free to make your own predictions in the comments

• Toy Story 3 will be the top movie of the year, Iron Man 2, the A-Team, and Harry Potter will also be in the top 15
• The Dow will be higher at the end of 2010 than at the beginning
• There will be 15 e-book readers on the market by the end of 2010 but still no major publisher will release DRM-free books.  So I will not buy one
• The health care bill will not become final before May and by the time I write this post next year there will still be millions of uninsured Americans.
• The Twitter stream will have ads in it (not just spam)
• USA will be no better than 3^rd in the medal count at the winter Olympics
• Kentucky will be in the Final 4
• The finale of Lost will be mostly satisfying
• I will not live in Kentucky at the end of 2010
• I will weigh less at the end of 2010 than I do at the beginning

2009 Prediction Results

Last year I wrote a post making predictions for the new year.  This is how I did. The Dow Jones and the price of gas will both be higher at the end of 2009 than at the beginning.  The recession however, will continue through the year. Currently the Dow is up, and gas is up almost a dollar.  Not sure how to determine if the recession is still on G..I Joe will be the highest grossing movie of the year. Just to hedge my bets I’ll say Transformers 2, Harry Potter, and Star Trek will all be in the top 15. I did okay on this one, they were all in the top 15.  But GI Joe was #15 Transformers & Harry Potter were #1 & 2, and Star Trek was #6. Blu-ray player sales will still stink, though they will obviously improve over what they are now. They have improved, but “stink” is not a very measurable term so I don’t know how to call this one.  I guess I probably would say I got it right The digital TV transition will go smoothly with no major hitches across the country Yep Twitter will catch on with “the kids” and people will see its usefulness Nope This blog will not reach 1000 comments My total comments are at 602 Someone in my youth group will become a Christian Yep I will weigh less at the end of 09 than at the beginning I weigh pretty much the same

In the comments, Ryan made the following predictions: UNC will win the National Championship. (Basketball) - happened UNC will get to a BCS Bowl. - Nope Carolina Panthers will win the Super Bowl. – They are out of this year’s playoffs.  I assume Ryan didn’t mean the 09 Super Bowl which was won by the Steelers.  Either way it was a bad prediction I will get a girlfriend. – Didn’t happen I will post 1000 comments on this blog – definitely didn’t happen

Geneva commented on my predictions: I agree with your Dow and Gas predictions, although, I think that is a gimme. – Got it I believe the recession is going to bottom out in the summer. – Still don’t know how to call this one I think Transformers 2 will be the number 1 earner. I also predict that all the comic book fanboys will be very sad with 2009s comic book movies compared to 2008s. – Bingo on Transformers I think a Blu-ray player will drop for less that 200 bucks, and people will start converting. – Christmas saw a lot of sub $150 players but people really haven’t started switching en masse I think the digital transition has already gone smoothly. – Transition day was June 12 so I don’t know what this comment was about “The Kids” won’t embrace Twitter. Myspace will end up making a spoof of Twitter, and they will embrace that. – The Kids didn’t start Twittering but the Facebook live feed is basically a cluttered Twitter clone, so that was a good prediction You will get a reasonable amount of comments. – Uh…comments were pretty far off of last year Agree - Yep I Believe you Will! - Nope

Tomorrow...My predictions for 2010

Reading List 2009

Here is the list of books I read in 2009.  It is disappointingly short compared to last year.  But I mixed in some fiction.  This list also includes audiobooks I listened to.

1. reThink – Steve Wright (Reviewed here)
2. ApParent Privilege – Steve Wright & Chris Graves (Reviewed here)
3. Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decision – Dan Ariely. This book is not pictured because I checked it out from the library.  It is completely fascinating and highly recommended.
4. The Reason for God – Timothy Keller (Reviewed here)
5. The God Question: An Invitation to a Life of Meaning – J.P. Moreland (Reviewed here)
6. Your Jesus Is Too Safe: Outgrowing a Drive-Thru, Feel-Good Savior – Jared Wilson (Reviewed here)
7. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy. This was the best fiction book I read this year
8. The Everlasting Man – G.K. Chesterton. It took me forever to read this.  Chesterton may be the most clever person ever to write a word.  but for some reason this was a bit overwhelming for me
9. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy (Sort of reviewed here)
10. The Last Christian Generation – Josh McDowell.  My official review... meh
11. Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
12. Uprising: A Revolution of the Soul – Erwin McManus
13. Searching for God Knows What - Donald Miller.  Better than I expected since I hated Blue Like Jazz, but nothing to recommend.
14. Letters to Lovers: Wisdom for Every Season of Your Marriage – Tom Elliff
15. The Hidden History of the Human Race – Michael Cremo & Richard Thompson.  Convincing but not in the way the authors hoped.
16. Growing an Engaged Church – Albert Winseman.  Don't waste your time (Reviewed here) From here down this list is all audiobooks
17. Confessions of an Economic Hit Man – John Perkins (Reviewed Here)
18. Crazy Love – Francis Chan. This audiobook was almost excruciating.  It is like Chan was trying to read the book as slowly as possible.  If i had an iPod so I could have listened at 1.75 speed I would have enjoyed it much more.  Or if I had read a physical book I would have liked it more.  In the end it is a challenging and convicting book, I just advise avoiding the audio version
19. Speaker for the Dead - Orson Scott Card
20. Xenocide – Orson Scott Card.  These Ender books are thoroughly engrossing and don't get boring after listening for hours.  They are perfectly read, interesting stories.  if you like sci-fi at all, these are excellent books.