,

WBAGNFAFFT

,

It's August and my blog is nothing if not helpful.  I realize that one major need in this world in August is a clever new fantasy football team name.  There are of course name generators out there, but none I've ever been very satisfied with.  (Although I do like this one pretty well, it came up with "wheat urgency".)  So what I've done for you is to collect all of the clean & funny, WBAGNFARB's* from Dave Barry's blog over the last year or so.

  • Cloned Meat
  • Counterfeit Toothpaste
  • Trojan Dwarf
  • The Potato Conspiracy  (My team name this year is a variation on this one - Lawnmower Conspiracy)
  • Electric Grandmothers
  • Unintentional Buzzcut
  • Thunder Chickens
  • Headbutting Cow
  • Sofa Rash
  • Semi Full of Butter
  • Trans-Weasel
  • Drunken Elk and the Toddler Attack
  • Robot Carp

I plan to continue this feature into the future, So each year I will be posting a similar list, unless blogging disappears or I quit blogging.  Of course I stole this list in its entirety, so you feel free to use anything you find in any way you want.  And if you have a name you particularly enjoy or want to suggest for next year's list, feel free to contribute in the comments section.

*WBANGFARB = Would Be A Good Name For A Rock Band

,

Best Web Junk (August 1)

,

Easily the best fail of the week The mother of all design flaws.

I know times are tough, but please don't recycle your city as scrap metal.

I wouldn't want the garden zombie at my house, but I have to admit it's pretty awesome. - via Myextralife

Weird Al's palindrome song.  This is pretty much awesome.  It's an oldie, but pretty great.  I was reminded of it by delta park project.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsgeTNnYywg]

The Elusiveness of Revival

I wrote this post a while back and am just now posting it.  I have rewritten it, I welcome your suggestions, and your feedback on this one. Our country is in desperate need of a great awakening.

My church could use a good revival.

I need a revival.

Except for prayer I have no control over the first two, but I can do something about the third.

Every Christian has experienced a time of spiritual dryness. It happened to the prophets of the Old Testament, the great church fathers, 18th century giants of the faith and certainly it happens today. Sometimes it seems that God is hiding Himself, though I am certain that that is not the case.

I recently confessed to three of my friends that I have been in somewhat of a spiritual lowpoint lately. While I’m in the midst of this lowpoint, feeling distant from God, I am aware of my situation. I know that I am not where I should be, but it feels as if I’m powerless to fix it.

Here is the question of this post; why is revival sometimes so hard to come by? One thing I do know is that the major problem in a time of spiritual dryness is sin. I know without a doubt that anyone with unrepentant sin will not emerge from such a condition simply by accident. I also don’t believe that God will just yank us up out of the funk without clearing up the sin that we seem unwilling to let go of.

For me, the major symptom of being in this condition is a lack of regular quiet time. When in this condition my quiet times are either sporadic, or low-quality. They sometimes feel like drudgery. Under normal circumstances I enjoy reading my Bible and my time alone with God in prayer is the best time of the day.

This all leads to the next major question; if I realize that sin is what has me in this rut, why can I not simply cut out the sin? I want to stop, I realize that is my major problem. Why is it often difficult to just repent. That is, of course, the key to it all. I can take some comfort in Romans 7:14-25. And I can of course conclude as Paul did 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! God provided both forgiveness and way out.

Two Posts I'm Recommending

I don't do this often, but today i'm reccommending blog posts by other people. First and shortest, read Adam's blog post about tithing.  It's good and not too preachy.

Then read this post by Dr. Reid.  At the end he recommends this song which I have seen posted by several people over the last few months.  It never connected with me until I read this post.

Here's the video:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqQhZKpZVCo]

I should have a regularly scheduled post for you tomorrow.

, ,

What You People Are Looking For (July edition)

, ,

This is 4 days early, but the 1st is Friday and I don't want it to conflict with best web junk for the week, so I decided to go ahead & post it. Here are the searches for July.  I now have 81 posts with 255 tags, so this list keeps getting broader.  This is not all of the searches, most are pretty normal and the stuff you would expect.  I do, however, think you will notice a trend in this list.  Remember I don't edit this list at all, I just cut & paste the ones I think are interesting.  The spelling and craziness goes to the searcher.

  • peach tree loaded
  • prop up peach tree branches
  • "peach tree branches props"
  • leaning peach tree
  • protected woodpeckers
  • watch sonic husband and wife commercials
  • did people ever eat mountain lion
  • google earth "coolest thing"
  • john mclamb, language school, costa rica (I really hope they found his blog from mine, they searched twice)
  • jeremy dockery and brother
  • prop up leaning tree
  • we harm trees
  • i dont have a drinking problem i drink,
  • how to get rid of peach tree boars
  • commercial jeremey holiday inn express c
  • how to prop branches on a peach tree
  • geekiest thing ever
  • propping up heavy peachtree
  • what does sbc president do? (I guess one post was about this)
  • best web junk
  • how to prop up a peach tree branch

Later this week a post called Peach Tree Redux to address what clearly is a major problem.

,

Best Web Junk (July 25)

,

Interesting (running the numbers) - via flowerdust.net Misspelled, or bad grammar tattoos - via Dave Barry.  This is sad & funny also it has a lot of cussing, but it's still very entertaining.  (Please don't juge me too harshly for putting up a link with a lot of swearing)

Check it out.   This is the Nirvana baby - From myextralife

This vid is cool.  A mini vs. a go-cart on a go-cart track.  The race starts about half way through.

I just realized that this week all my links contain something that you could find offensive if you are easily offended.  Sorry about that.  It's not my usual style, I'll try to clean it up for next week.  To make up for it, here's a link to a lolcat.  It's disgustingly cute and there's nothing vaguely offensive about it.  Here's another.

And finally here's a little game.  Read yesterday's post and see where I've been in the past 8 days.  Guess my mileage in the comments for the 14th -22nd of July.  The person who is closest wins the prestigious title of Geography Czar of my blog.

,

What's this - a new blog post?

,

So I'm back from the basement and it's time to get back to normal life.  Which, it just so happens, includes writing blog posts.  I'm going to start off with a little travelogue. (Just a few pictures from my past week.)  Then tomorrow, your regularly scheduled best web junk, and next week it's back to normal blogging. I had an 8 day vacation .  I went back home to visit my family.

Which included my new nephew that I had never seen before.  he had a bit of a rough time coming into the world and was not allowed to see his momma for the first few days.  But he is clearly doing very well now.  This is not a fake picture, this is Jake Johnson my nephew. he really looks like a cabbage patch doll.  Also I'm sporting the half-face tan and looking oddly bald.  (I'm puffing out my cheeks to look like him.)

I also went to the eye doctor as I always do during my summer visit home.

Here you can see me all google-eyed.  Freshly dilated with virtually no blue part left.

Then I went to Mexico to visit my good friends Brent & Amanda Highfil.  Here's a pic of their two oldest children Luke & Noah.  We played Rock Band on the Wii Friday night with Keaton & Ali Shewcraft.  It was really fun.

I also got to go fishing twice.  once on Barkley with my dad.  We caught 6 bass fishing a Carolina rig on main lake flats.  (pretty descriptive huh)  and once at a family get-together.  We were at this lovely private lake.

I caught about 6 bass and a few of these very hungry catfish.  The other guy is my uncle.

I had a good time, glad to be back in Fayetteville and I have plenty to do for the next few months.

Suggestion please

I have literally tens of readers, and some of you are a very helpful and literate bunch.  So help me out. I'm taking a trip soon and I'll be in my car for 11 hours or so.  I need some audio books, and I am thinking of joining audible.com for a trial.  I'll get one free book, Plus it helps out the TWIT network which I listen to like 3 hours a week and have only ever donated a few dollars.

Here's where you come in.  I only get one free book, so I need a suggestion of what it should be.  I like history, politics, comedy, and sci-fi.

(I know the cumberland county library has audiobooks to download, but never what I want, and I think audible books have a bookmarking feature, which is awesome.  cause it means I can listen to something else if I desire, without resetting a 10 hour book.)

I'm strongly considering The Areas of my Expertise by John Hodgeman

Also, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo just because it seems like one of those books i should have read a very long time ago

,

Best Web Junk (July 11)

,

I can't decide if this looks delicious or disgusting I never expected photoshop disasters to be informing me on the news

I know it's childish and scatological, but puzzle farter made me laugh out loud

Wait for it...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKF52Rea01M]

The best Thai lightbulb commercial you'll see today

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z70zNOSZ160]

Picking Our Sins

I just read this post, and I wonder; does this surprise anyone?  Here’s and obvious disclaimer – I am clearly in the 71%. Here’s the thing.  We all choose the sins that we are going to be offended by.  And for most of us, this poor body-stewardship is not one of them.  I know that I regularly wake up in the morning and am determined to change my behavior so that I am healthier, but often by lunchtime I’ve forgotten that determination.  Also I know that overweightness is a sin I find very easy to forgive in others.

However there are a host of sins that I judge much more harshly in myself and others.  I am not saying that the other sins that we judge more harshly don’t deserve the treatment.  I am, however, wondering how we decide where to draw that line.  Why are we offended by cussing but not overeating? Born Loser Comic Over the years I have known Christians who were offended by women wearing pants, and Christians who are seemingly not bothered by anything.  I really don’t have any suggestion for where the arbitrary “sin line” comes from.  I would suggest that it comes from our church, but for the most part we chose churches that hold to our views rather than molding ourselves to the views of our church.

Here’s what I do know.  God does not have an arbitrary line.  He hates our sin – all of it – and He wants us to “be holy in all our conduct.”

Has the World Gone Crazy?

I just read (and by "just read" I mean over the weekend when I wrote this post) this story: Sex education 'should begin at four

and I am wondering, how can anybody honestly look at the world and think, "What our kids need is more exposure to sex."  I'm kinda sad to think it's even a debate.

Here is a Digg comment, that probably illustrates the point of what some are thinking

i have always thought that it's a tad ridiculous that we treat sex as some sort of secret thing. biologically it's our only reason for being and shouldn't be treated as something crass or dirty. if the topic of sex is treated casually then the allure and mystery will be gone by the time kids are of sexual maturity and probably won't make a rash decision out of either the desire to discover their own sexuality, or out of being misinformed.

I'm only going to address the second sentence of this comment  "biologically its our only reason for being."  This is a worldview problem, and it is incredibly sad.  I can hardly fathom what life would be like if in fact all we were was biological.  Neither can anyone else.  People have souls and we cannot see the world as merely a physical place.  By the way, if it was, then there would be no morality attached to sex or anything else.  In fact there would be no morality whatsoever.  We might as well teach 4-year-olds about sex.  Or even two, isn't that what they do in Brave New World?

But that's not how the world works.  We were created as both physical and spiritual beings, and God made sex for a purpose.  And in any context proper or improper, it will always be a big deal.

Sex will always be a big deal, and anyone who tells you different is selling something.

,

Best Web Junk (July 4)

,

Don't be too dissappointed.  But you cannot change your name to a vulgarity.  Even if your current legal name is "Variable" However you should be able to change your name to "Variable" if you current legal name is "D'les Elexia Star Spiderbite"

Key quote from this story ""It's creamy-ranch- dressing-looking crap."

These are wierd and really neat - via Digg

My favorite fail of the week

Here's a really good breakdown of NCAA basketball uber-freshmen from last year

I really like Jackie Chan movies, even the poorly dubbed ones, mostly because of the stunts.  But after watching this I wonder if it was worth it.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI1AwZN4ZYg]

It's Pretty Amazing What You Can Do With Just a Few People and Technology

I wrote a post for Monday but I can't quite bring myself to post it.  I'm sure you'll see it later.  In the meantime, read somebody else's blog and enjoy this video.  It's pretty amazing what you can do with some time and technology [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRS9cpOMYv0&eurl=http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/01/omaha-beach-diy.html]

An Interesting List

I have decided to add a monthly feature sharing the odd searches that brought people to my blog.  These are things that I just think are funny or, not really what my site is about.  I am just simply cutting and pasting the items into this list.  And I'm only only sharing the ones I find bizarre or particularly interesting.

Without further ado.  Here is the list for June.

  • Goose hunting
  • peach tree props
  • most hypocritical ever
  • beaver dam kentucky city council
  • beavers mate for life
  • prince of persia film
  • will tree to lean towards light


I need to come up with a clever name for this feature for the future.  You can put your ideas in the comments.  I'm thinking about calling it " What are you people looking for?"  (Sort of inspired by Cute with Chris' "What you Sick People Come Here For.")

BTW:  I can only imagine what this list would look like on webhick's blog, it's so bizzare to begin with.

,

Best Web Junk (June 27)

,

First, something serious.  You really should read this, and think about your church's business meetings - from Bart Barber A bunch of really cool photos from Mars

If you're going to the olympics you can't order "Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman"...sad.

I used to watch WPSD news every day, but I never saw a chicken in the forecast - from Dave Barry

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKzTDcw-rG0]

or aliens

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBSYbpIKS-0]

Do Critics Matter?

I heard this story yesterday.  And it got me to thinking.  Why do I care about game reviews when I don't care at all about movie reviews? I occasionally read movie reviews, but at least as far as critics are concerned, movies that they love, I can almost count on hating.

But video game reviews are different.  I tend to be in agreement with video game reviews very often.  The only exception is that game reviewers usually don't mind vulgarity, and that is enough to keep me from playing a game like GTA, that may be fun, but I can't stand the hyper violence or horrible language of those games.  I also don't like games where you have to kill a lot of people. My theory is that game reviews are very practical, and less about opinion.  Game reviews point out actual flaws in games, like a stupid auto aiming gun, or a camera angle that keeps half the story hidden.

So feel free to chime in.  Does what movie or TV critics have to say matter to you?  Do you also place more faith in game reviews?

Here's a list of game franchises I realy like

Splinter cell - A lot of sneaking, very little killing

Prince of Persia - Cool puzzles and wall running

Madden - I have bought every madden since 92 (that's pretty sad)

Burnout - Crashes is fun

Christians & Climate Change

Yesterday I saw this comic, and somebody forwarded me this story, and it got me to thinking about “climate change” I put climate change in quotes because it used to be called global warming, until the globe actually cooled last year. Now it’s always called “climate change.”

Comic

I realize that this post is about two months too late. I missed all the hype surrounding the SBC statement by Jonathan Merritt. And I missed the big “We get it” statement by the ERLC.

But here are my thoughts anyway...

I have no idea whether humans are causing global warming or not. I will admit that it seems like climate change is real. I found An Inconvenient Truth to be rather convincing, but I cannot deny the stats from earlier that the world cooled last year. So, to clear this up, it does seem like something is going on, but I am not sure it is caused by humans and our activity on this planet. Now that I have established such a thoroughly fence-sitting position let me bottom line it for you.

For Christians, it doesn’t matter whether or not humans are causing global warming. It seems to me that the real issue is stewardship of the planet. We only have one planet to live on, at least until we figure out some new technology to put us on Mars. But I must say that the middle panel of the comic is correct. Stewardship of creation is a secondary issue. Just so that I am clear, there is only one great commission. There is only one duty that rises above all others for Christians. We are to spread the gospel, and preach to all the lost. That, however, is not an excuse to destroy what we have.

There are major problems on both sides of this issue. The people who say that this God’s world and He will take care of it are being irresponsible and simply unbiblical. God gave Adam the job of ruling over creation right in the beginning  And the simple fact is that he expects the same of us. We are to take care of the world.

The other side describes it as a "planetary emergency," and says “[global warming] threatens the future of human civilization.”  So Gore believes that the end of the world as we know it will be because of global warming if something is not done to stop it. The problem with that is the hyperbole of it all. I’ll state this plainly.  The main problem with the world is sin. It will be the cause of the end of civilization. No debate about that one. We doomed the world a long time ago. And there is no saving it. The greatest crisis ever to face mankind has already been settled. This world will end.

Let me wrap this all up. We must take care of the earth, just as we take care of our homes, our bodies, and our money, but climate change is not the greatest problem the world ever has faced, sin is.

And just in case you were wondering, I could sign the creation care document in good conscience.